Poppa and Rayne

Poppa died last week. He ate right up until the end. His funeral was Friday and that is all I can say right now except that I am so happy to know he is with Jesus although my missing him is unbearable at times.

Rayne has the swine flu of course. Doesn't he catch everything? He is slowly getting better. Praise God, he never had a high fever or a deep cough!

Gram and Pop's House

This has been the one constant place of my entire life. I can't imagine life without Gram and Pop here in their little house.

Still haven't been to see Pop yet. I am feeling stronger about it though. I am not crying as much. The Lord is really helping me deal with the whole situation. I am still afraid to go see him, but not as scared as I was. I love him. I pray for him to be peaceful and pain free. I also pray for Gram, Momma, and Sissie to have the strength needed, mentally and physically, to take care of him.

Here are a couple of layouts I have done recently. The first one is Rance, Ethan and Gramdpa/Papaw at Mamaws after she passed away.






The second layout is at Rogerland on Christmas Day. It was our last Christmas with Mamaw and the last time I saw her before her stroke.
















In the picture are Mamaw, Sissie, Leigh, Kim, and me.

I am pooped. Going to Fort Smith the last two days has worn me out. Yesterday I took clothes to the Growing Kids Sale and had to stand in line almost a whole hour. Today I went back to the sale to shop and stood in line for 30 minutes because I got there early. The line was huge behind me. And actually, I got to sit in line because I happen to be right where they had set a chair with a sign on the back of it.
The Duggar females were still at the sale but there were so many people I never did see any of them.
I got several pairs of jeans and pants for both boys and even some shirts. I was too tired to have them try them on yet so I hope everything fits. If not I guess I'll take what doesn't fit to a consignment shop.
I am not feeling well right now, but I hope I feel better tomorrow so I can go see Pop. I really need to see him and touch him. I need to hold his hand like I always do. I don't know how I am going to make it through this. I love him so much. Jesus will have to carry me through this hard time. Thankfully, he can carry me, Pop, the rest of the family and the whole world all at the same time. He is a mighty God who loves us more than we can dare to think or imagine.

Duggar Family

The Duggar family will be at the Growing Kids Sale tomorrow. Filming. I hope they are still there when I get to go at 5:00. I hope I get to meet some more of them. I have already met Michelle, the baby, and Grandma Duggar. I don't want to be on television though. How embarassing!
The sale has tons of clothes this time. Even more than usual. The boys' racks are full and piled up on top. I hope I find some clothes for the boys. I'll have to dig. Some clothes are piled in the floor because they never have as many boys' clothes racks as girls because they don't usually have as many boys' clothes.
I turned in a few clothes to sell just so I could go to the early sale tomorrow and maybe meet the Duggars. I love their show and their book!!! I hope I get to meet them.

Poppa

Pop is in a rehab place in Paris. He went into the hospital last week in a lot of pain. One of his shoulders is separating. They have him on a pain patch and it makes him loopy. I haven't been down there yet and it is killing me. I think I will have to go tomorrow if I feel well enough at all. I am scared to see him. (Seeing him made Brandon cry.) But I can't stand being away from him either. I have been crying alot.
He also now has mrsa, an antibiotic restistant staph infection that you sometimes get while in the hospital.
Pop has always been more like a father to me. He took care of me in ways that my daddy should have. He has always loved me no matter how many other grand-kids or great-grand-kids he has accumulated over the years. We spent a lot of time together when I was a kid. I just went with him everywhere. I grew up feeling like my sister was "the important" one in the family, but I always knew Pop loved me too.
Yeah, Pop has an ornery side, but to me he is perfect. I have on rose colored glasses as far as he is concerned.
I am so scared I will go see him and he won't know me. I can't imagine life without Pop. I still have a hard time with Mamaw being gone. 2009 has been a hard year, but yet I have so many blessings for which I am thankful.